From the Executive Director’s Heart

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It’s all about perspective

A good friend of mine recently sent me this humorous scenario entitled Is Your Car Missing a 710?

It goes as follows: Yesterday I was having some work done at the car dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. They all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there." The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car, which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there…"

Are you curious? Go to the bottom of the page to learn the identity of the mysterious 710. But please return to the article.

More than meets the eye

"…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 

As we are now seven weeks into our 28-week Living Waters program, the twelve men and women participants are learning a lot about perspective. For instance, most if not all are attending due to some area of sexual or relational brokenness. This may include unwanted same-sex attractions; pornography or sex addiction; the trauma of sexual and other abuses; chaotic, co-dependent relationships, etc. And though we take these matters very seriously, more often than not they are symptoms of much deeper-rooted issues.

For example, a common underlying stronghold for many is shame. Where guilt says: I have done something wrong, shame says: I am something wrong. I have become my sin. If anyone, including God, really knew me, they would reject me. So I’ll just save them the effort and reject myself = self-hatred!

Or perhaps I will just put on my have-it-all-together façade and pretend that everything is all right. Maybe if I perform a little better or work harder this pain will go away! Dr. Ed Smith, who developed Theophostic Prayer Ministry and the author of Healing Life’s Hurts says, "On the outside this appears to be a good thing, but the purpose of (this) behavior is to deny and bury what I really hold to be true, thus keeping me in bondage." I believe it was Einstein who said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." Pretty profound!

Lies we believe

“Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.” James 1:16

We must identify sinful responses related to our woundings. We don’t want to minimize what has happened to us, nor would it be wise to put ourselves back into an unsafe situation. However, we can continue to hold onto the pain with the idea of revenge, perpetual victimization or hoping the pain will just go away. Ed Smith says, "Sometimes it is hard to acknowledge, but to be free of the lies we believe, we must identify and own the lies rather than suppress or deny them.

"He states further, "Freedom requires that I acknowledge and take responsibility for what I believe, and feel its corresponding emotional pain. I must choose to lay down my feeble defenses and attempts to deny my pain, project the pain onto others or onto life circumstances. In this honest context, God is released (by my will) to free me."

My real self

“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Proverbs 28:13

I may have quoted this before, but it bears repeating. C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity says: "Your [true] real self will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him." To expand this concept further, my good friend Joel Ladd has developed a graph:

Andy Comiskey states, "Out of our broken souls we have sought wholeness in false ways." Isn’t it amazing how we will remain in the pain of the familiar, false self (the self that is alienated from Christ) while being fully aware of the Redeemer of our souls, who alone can resurrect the true self (the self that emerges in union with Christ)! Jesus reclaims our true self as we die to old patterns of lies, misperceptions and distortions about ourselves.

Who’s your daddy?

So how do we make the transition from false to true self? First it involves trust. Can I really believe what God says about Himself? About me? Can I really trust Him with my life? I can’t imagine ever not loving my two sons. They are so precious to me and I want to be the best dad possible to them. But even then, I know I fall far short of what our Heavenly Daddy offers and provides. Listen to some words from the Father’s Love Letter: "It is My desire to lavish My love on you, simply because you are My child and I am your Father. I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. For I am the perfect father." He is trustworthy!

Secondly, I have to surrender my agenda and accept His. He will not violate my will. It doesn’t mean He loves me any less or any more, it just means I can have a more intimate relationship with Him, to know that I know that I am loved and hear Him say, "I am your Father, and I love you even as I love My Son, Jesus. For in Jesus, My love for you is revealed. I have always been Father, and will always be Father. My question is…Will you be my child? I am waiting for you. Love, Your Dad. Almighty God!"  Welcome home my son, welcome home.

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