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HEY MIKE! For years I have struggled with gay thoughts and feelings. I know the Bible is totally against homosexuality, and I don’t want to be gay anyway. Satan has just really got a hold on me. I’ve asked the Lord for help, but I still feel the Devil’s hand pulling me down. Are there other Christians guys going through the same thing? How do I stop these feelings and thoughts? Help!

—Name Withheld

First, I want you to understand that you’re definitely not alone. I know there are other Christian guys who struggle with some of the same thoughts and feelings. (Breakaway has the letters to prove it.)

Second, even though you’re battling gay feelings, it doesn’t mean you’re homosexual. Rest assured that some of the conflicting emotions you’re experiencing, as well as the questions you may be asking yourself—”Who am I?” and “How do I feel about the opposite sex?”—are often a normal part of growing up.

Third, understand that struggling with same-sex attraction isn’t a sin, but acting upon your desires is. Prayer is one really important defense in this battle. It’s also important to realize that your feelings may not go away overnight. And opening up doors in your thought life or through your actions with others could potentially fuel your confusion, as well as the depth of your struggle.

Fourth, gay does not describe who a person is. Instead, it’s a political term that describes a chosen identity or lifestyle. Despite the arguments you may have heard, men and women simply are not born homosexual. God did not design us this way. In fact, as you pointed out, the Lord makes it clear that homosexuality is a sinful choice—and He even describes it as unnatural and indecent (see Romans 1:21-32 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

Fifth, because homosexuality is a choice your Creator doesn’t want you to make, He will help you overcome it—even during those moments when Satan tries to trip you up. Jesus Christ loves you and cares deeply about your struggles. (He understands them better than you do.) He will help you. Tell Him everything you’re feeling and ask Him for guidance. Pray anytime, anywhere. Jesus forgives and heals and delivers.

Finally, understand that getting help is another important step you’ve got to take. Don’t struggle alone. Breaking free from same-sex attraction can be a difficult endeavor, one that requires commitment, perseverance and a strong relationship with the Lord. Consider logging on to our Web site and downloading Focus on the Family’s Dare 2 Dig Deeper Series booklet “Amy and Jason.” Also, there’s a fantasic Christian Web site for teens who have questions about homosexuality: www.livehope.com. Remember: No matter what choices you’ve made or how much you struggle, you are God’s son. His grace and forgiveness are always there for you.

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